Being both a recent bride myself and a wedding photographer who keeps in contact with my clients after the big day, I’ve found that there are some common things every bride wish she knew before planning/participating in her wedding, no matter how different the weddings or brides, some things are common across all wedding festivities.
#1 More Money Does Not Equal a Better Wedding
There is no doubt that weddings are expensive, but they don’t have to be break the bank expensive. With enough time and determined family members/wedding planners a complete DIY wedding on a tight budget can be identical to the wedding that cost $30,000 dollars. I’ve seen amazing DIY elements at every one of my weddings, and those extra dollars saved could be put to use elsewhere. Just because you spend a small houses down payment on your wedding doesn’t mean it is the best wedding out there. Money does not equate to better, and thats something all brides out there should realize. Yes, you have a budget, but if its not a large one, don’t worry, you can still have an amazing wedding. Below are all DIY projects made by the families of the Bride and Groom before their big day. Proof that you don’t need a ton of money to have an amazing Insta worthy wedding.
#2 It’s Your Day Not Anybody Else’s
Your day is not the time to fix everybody elses drama, but so many Brides and even some Grooms get caught up in trying to do just that. Weddings have become a day to please everyone else, rather than a day about the couple. Grown adults talking crap about the bride on her big day, family members too selfish to realize they’re stressing the bride out more than making her happy, Mothers of Bride/Groom silencing the wants of the couple to create their perfect vision, you name it I’ve seen it. If there is one thing that I will never regret, it was the fact that my wedding was a total of 5 people including my husband and I, in the middle of nowhere, Grand Cayman (but we still hired a photographer :)), and that is because of all the stress and chaos I see families put the couple through leading up to and on the big day. So if I have any advice to any current or future Bride and Grooms, its don’t be afraid to speak up, don’t be afraid to tell people what you want and how you want it, and remember its YOUR day, not theirs.
#3 Don’t Feel Rushed to Put it Together, Take Your Time and Do Your Research
Nothing is worse than feeling rushed to complete something, except feeling rushed while planning a wedding. Many of my brides have come back to me and said, “I wish I had more time.” In the instant gratification culture we live in today, you can’t let someone else’s expected timeline of you dictate how your wedding gets planned and executed. If you need time to research venues and vendors, take it. If you need time to get together the money to make your wedding the experience you want it to be, take it. Just because someone has an opinion on the length of your engagement doesn’t mean you should take it. Go on the wedding websites, take the time to talk to your soon-to-be-spouse, and make sure you create a budget everyone is comfortable with. Being a vendor myself, I hate being passed over with a client, but all I truly want is that couple to get the most memorable day for them. So take the time and find the vendors that best suites you, from venue to photographer.
#4 Let the Photographer Do Their Job, If They Want You to Pose They’ll Tell You
Posed doesn’t always work, some couples aren’t comfortable in front of the camera and I kind of prefer it that way. I don’t want to be like that robot in the Season 2 Finale of Rick and Morty, where I announce my presence for every photo. When I can get couples to be organic and candid, thats when I get the best images. Posed always, without fail (at least for me), comes out stiff and unrealistic. The more candid you are, the more you ignore me and act like I’m a fly on the wall, the better images I get. I’ll tell you if I want you to pose, or you tell me if you want a specific image, other than that, mums the word. It’s why I always wear black (Stay Tuned for a whole blog post on what to wear as a Female Photographer) to weddings, makes it easier to stay hidden in the shadows. So let me (or any other photographer) do my/their job, and I promise you won’t regret it when you see your gallery.
#5 The People Who Truly Care For and Love You Will Be There…No Matter What
This one hits home for me, seeing as I was the Bride who told my father not to show up to my wedding if he couldn’t be civil with my mom (spoiler alert: He didn’t show). In truth, barring the extreme uncontrollable circumstances, (illness, make it or break it work situations, death, and college finals) the people that truly love you and care for you will be at your wedding day no matter if its in the middle of the week or if they have to fly across the country to be there. That was something, as harsh it was, I and one of my brides had to realize to get through the entire wedding and reception process. Nothing will stop the people that want to be there from supporting you on your big day, which is why you shouldn’t sweat it if family members or even those that you thought we’re close friends decide to check that “Will Not Attend” box on your invitation. The ones that matter will be there, and thats all that should matter, even if you don’t realize it in the moment.